With the holidays right around the corner it's so easy to get caught up in the busyness that surrounds me. Today I looked at the clock and it was 8pm, and I had no idea what happened between church this morning to now, and that is when I know I need to sit for a moment and ground myself; get connected so that I don't lose my footing.
My therapist and I just talked about this very thing in session Thursday before break. He knows me well to know that sometimes when there is a break, or things get busy like holidays or summer vacations, I tend to pull away and isolate into the busyness, and sometimes that creates disconnect with my support and sometimes even with myself - not something I choose to do, but it's my old ways of being, I get quiet into my busy world.
I am however getting better about that; hence the reason I decided to sit, write, connect and get grounded tonight.
My therapist said to me "you've got to accept to connect".. something I am holding onto during this break. No going inward, putting myself outward!
So far I have stayed connected to my support, to my friends, and I have checked in with them from time to time, and they have checked in with me from time to time, and I have to say it has kept me from losing ground and getting lost in the busyness that this week brings.
Staying grounded and staying connected is something I struggled with my whole life up until a few years ago. I would pull inward and thought it was the safest way to be. It was safe to be within myself and not allow anyone in.
Today I am the total opposite, I love to connect and be connected, but sometimes (moments like this around the holidays) I let the busyness pull me inward and tonight I needed to remind myself to - connect, write, and stay grounded.
We are here at home for the holidays this year and I have to say I am so happy with spending this Christmas in our own house. We have gone up to New Hampshire every year for the past 6 years, and I am glad this year we are hunkered up in our beautiful home, surrounded by our friends and each other.
I almost forgot what it's like to have my own Christmas Eve party, so it's nice being able to do that this year. I will connect with everyone down here this year and I am less stressed not having to travel.
I hope that all my friends have a beautiful Christmas Eve and Christmas.. I will blog when I get free time or when I need to sit and re-ground myself.. but until then, the cooking and wrapping awaits me.