five minute friday {race}

Welcome to five minute Friday to where us bloggers are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking necessary. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours.

Today’s Five minute Friday word is {Race}

START

3 years ago I ran my first 5K! I am not a runner, I am more of a weight lifter, core builder, and a cross-fit trainer!

I challenged myself to run this 5k with my then trainer Ruth and a couple of other good friends.

I had prepared myself and trained hard for this 5K! I got up every morning with my trainer at 5:30am and ran with her! I ate healthy, I did intervals, weight trained to keep my strength up! I timed myself, I paced and learned what my body could and couldn't handle!

The day of the race came and I was not prepared for how hard it was! I trained on a mostly flat road, and most of the time I trained on the treadmill where it was the same pace no matter how long I went or how far I got! I trained in my own element, at my own pace.

This 5K was filled with a crowd of people, hills both up and down, twists and turns, gaps in the road, obstacles in the way, and here I was running just waiting to get to that finish line!

When I came to the finish line people were taking photos and cheering us all! There was loud music playing and people dancing in celebration of a job well done! There was food and drinks, and people hugging!

I woke up the next morning and couldn't walk! I coudln't walk for 2 days! I was so sore because I was not prepared for anything outside of what I trained for - but I was proud of myself for trying and finishing! I even framed my number and a photo that was taken of me after the race that now sits on a shelf in the living room!

This reminds me so much of my healing journey. My therapist always says to me "you have been running a race since you were 5 years old", and even today as the adult I am running a race against the demons of my past! I am working hard through the trials of healing and being vulnerable to the past I spent years building walls against.

I have gone through obstacles and hills, twists and turns, sweat and tears fighting a war against the people and the lies of my past. I have also had people in the race with me who tried to throw me off my track, who wanted to see me fall and stumble  - but the difference is, there is no finish line to healing! There is no line to cross to say "I finished"... healing is just the beginning.

Healing is the opposite, healing is about a journey going from an END to a new beginning vs a start to a finish. Healing is about running towards a life knowing you honored what was holding you back to begin with.

The celebration is not about ending a race, it's the little things accomplished along the way, and honoring the hard obstacles knowing that's where the grace and peace is found.

The finish line I see in my healing journey is not an end to the race, but a start to honoring me and not the child inside who has been running her whole life - that is what my healing has been about.

In this race on this journey my trainer is my wonderful therapist who supports me along each obstacle ahead. Someone to lean on when I need to take a break, and someone who sometimes takes the leads to let me know where the hard parts in the road are.

The people cheering on the sidelines are my family, my friends and GOD who strengthens me along the way.

This healing race is hard, and sometimes I am sore with tears and a heavy heart, but I am also filled with grace and joy as everyday I see a bit of the new path ahead - to where there is no finish line but yet more life to live.

END

* the photo above for this blog was taken of me after the 5K race.. I was excited that I finished! *