My eyes opened quick this morning, I looked at my phone to see the time, and I saw the email icon that I got a new email, and it was from my therapist, at 7:03am!!! My first thought was "who gets up at 7am on break at the beach and sends an email?" and then I realized in that moment - accept it, it's here, connect, read, enjoy what God has to offer me this morning.
I was reminded that no matter what the day brings, connection is mine to have and accept, and that I was thought of and cared about.
One of the things that I have been working really really hard on lately is meditating with my rosary! Instead of always "thanking god" for being there for me, I have come to accept "asking" God for help or guidance when I need it, or just ask him that I stay connected to all those in my life.
I saw this piece from the series "I am Second" and it was done by Scott Hamilton, and I cried like a baby when I watched this because it was about prayer and how to ask for God not just thank him.
Scott Hamilton talks about his battle in life with a brain tumor, and how a nurse asked him if he prayed, and he said "yes I pray all the time" and the nurse said "what do you pray for?" and he said "I pray and thank God for all the blessings in my life", and the nurse said "do you ever ask God for help?" and he said "no, no I just tell him how thankful I am", and the nurse made him realize who God is to him, and to ask for God's help.
Scott Hamilton realized that He doesn't have to always just be thankful, he can accept and be open to those who want to connect to him, and accept what is right there in front of him when given.
I have changed my way of praying since seeing this, I still thank God, but I now also accept and take what is here for me without having to always just fill it with gratitude and gratefulness; that I deserve the connection that God gives me. I believe God gives us what we need, we just need to see it and accept it.
Chris Berens from my church reminded me last week "God doesn't turn away from us, we turn away from God"
So I got out of bed this morning, did my usual crunches, and push ups, came downstairs to my little love-seat nook right under the window and just connected with myself, and I said a small prayer to God "today I need some strength to finish the house, I need your strength when I find struggles, and I pray that you guide me through the day accepting your love and connection, and I will accept what is here for me, Amen".
It has taken me a long long long long time to learn this for myself. When I saw that email this morning from my therapist, the first thing I thought was "he should be relaxing, not emailing me to connect", and then I stopped and thought about the "I am Second" piece on Scott Hamilton about prayer, and realized "take the connection and accept it for me as someone wanting to connect with me, and don't feel that I have to respond with just a thank you, respond with - this is how I am doing, and I am accepting the connection here for me".
I have 3 boys, and I would want them to accept and come to me when they need something, not just be grateful that I am their mom.
I grew up believing "take what you get, because it's all your getting", and back then, there wasn't anything to accept. I love my boys more than anything and I would always want them to feel as if anything they need is here for them, and their to have freely.
My husband tells me many many times through the day "I love You".. and before they were words I just responded to with a "I love you back".. but lately I have been hearing it more, and accepting it as connection and love.
So as I sit here this morning before starting my day, I am not going to 'just' be grateful, I am going to accept the wonderful words in the email I woke up to, I am going to accept Gods love and guidance today. I am going to accept that the day may not be perfect and that is OK, I will get what I need done and know I accepted the strength around me.
As I was reminded this morning "the path is laid out before you through connection - accept it as yours".
I plan to write some different things this week, trying on some new ways of writing. I have also been asked to guest post to write on another blog of a writer who has a book out - stay tuned.
Have a great 4th of July everyone, and take a moment to just accept what God has given around you, no matter what it is.