How do you have control over something you have never had control over? how do you find empowerment over something that has had power over you your whole life? How do you take something that has hindered your way of living, and have the power and choice to not let it have power over you? For the longest time the people of my past had power over me, and in a way they still do emotionally. Even though the abuse is not happening right now in this moment; emotionally they still have some control over me. How do I cut the cord so to speak? how do I take control over all that I go through inside every day? It's hard, its' truly hard to change something that has had power over you for so long!
Today, when I was going through a chain of emotions that I go through every single day since I was a child - I decided that I was going to find the source of where it lives, and kick it to the curb! It lives in the LIES, and I decided to make that lie TRUTH, It lives in FEAR, and I decided today I was no longer going to be in fear of it! It lives in sadness, and today I befriended it and smiled, It lives in making me feel unworthy, and today I decided I was going to feel worthy and reach out to people, and let others in! It lives in secrets, and today as I write this, well, it's no longer a secret.
I am empowered by the people I trust, love, and let in.. not by the people who lie, hate, and hijack me. I am empowered by my own control; by my own journey, and a healing I can call my own.
One of the things that I am doing in my healing, is I am telling the story from my self, from my sadness, from my fears, from my truth - not from their lies, their secrets or their power. I have found in my journey that, it lives in silence, and today I said "NO, I will not be alone in this, and I choose to say NO" .. I decided to feed it worthiness, feed it connection, wisdom, faith, love, and the most powerful - TRUTH!