letting go, while reaching for...

I saw this photo, and it truly had some meaning to me, not just about the trees, or the beautiful lighting, but because it represents two meanings - letting Go, and reaching for".. both of which I am very familiar with, (one more so than the other) and both which takes alot of work, strength, and faith to do. I feel, right now,  I am in the "in between". I am letting go; but at the same time reaching for. The blessing in this is, I think for the first time, I can actually see the "reaching for" in the midst of letting go.

I think for most of us, letting go is alot harder than reaching for, but for me, letting go is one of the most familiar feelings for me. I have been through it time and time again... but going towards something for me, that is very unfamiliar, and scary at the same time.

What I have come to learn in a hard way is that, the unfamiliar is one of the scariest places for me, because I have spent my life living in the familiar patterns.. almost like a ritual! So I guess in a way, there was never any room to see anyting outside of that, so reaching out for that "unfamiliar" you have no idea what to expect.. but I think for the first time in my life, I can see it, and I am willing to sacrafice whatever I need to do, to find out what that is, be with it, face it, and fight it to grab it - no matter how hard.

It's been a long time in my healing that I have actually been able to see some light.. I guess that truly comes when you truly allow yourself to let go of what has been covering that light for so long.. it's a hard process, and there may be times where the "reaching for" is harder to grab, or the letting go feels to pull me in more, but I think I am strong enough to stand in the middle and feel what both feels like without being pulled into the familiar. I think I feel stronger to feel the reaching for, and that is very unfamiliar!