my journey to healing

6c0464f38780ca646670f362a30d2924This month marks 8 years that I have walked this amazing path of healing in therapy with a wonderful wisdom filled therapist. It hasn't been an easy 8 years, but it has been a liberating life changing 8 years.

8 years ago, I drove my car up this long and winding mountain side road heading towards this place I would spend the next 8 years discovering all the parts of me I never knew before.

I remember this day like it was yesterday, but never did I think I would endure a journey quite like this.

This journey that I have been on for 8 years has been life changing for me on so many levels. It hasn't always been easy, and my healing certainly took some really hard roads along the way, but that is where I believe I grew stronger.

One of the things that I have learned in therapy is that, healing is not just about healing the past, but more so it's about walking along side of your past to meet you where you are today.

You can't heal your past, you can't fix it, nor can you change what happened - but you can welcome it to where you are today so that you can live forward.

A couple of years ago my healing hit a really hard wall, and for the past year or so I have really been going through a hard hard time with self isolation.

This past year has been one of the hardest years I have ever been through, but because of this amazing 8 years on this healing journey, I have faith and hope that I will take all that I worked through and apply it to help move me out of this hard place I have been in.

It's because of the 8 years I have been working with my amazing therapist that I trust and know that I will move out of this hard place and not only will I move out of this hard place, but I will move out of it healing more wounds that I covered for so long. Sometimes it takes a really hard place to bring out the deepest of wounds.

I can't say enough amazing words about my therapist of 8 years now. When I first walked into therapy, I was behind so many walls that I didn't even know who I was. He carefully took my hand and slowly pulled me out from behind this wall and showed me what true safe connection was, and the possibility of life before me.

My therapist - he is this wisdom filled inspiring person who has really guided me through this very hard path in a safe, loving, trusting, and connecting way.

I admire him and look up to him for the wisdom he has helped me to find in my own self and healing. He is such a good person with a big heart and really listens beyond the ears of hearing.

I am blessed that God sent me this amazing person I have walked this path with, and continue to take healing steps out of this hard place and into the life I know is possible for me.

Therapy is a hard process, but a healing process if you just walk into it knowing that you are not going to change what has happened or fix it, but that you are going to find a way to accept what it is that has happened, but finding YOU in the middle of it to become the person God intended you to be.

Every day I am getting closer and closer to the other side of this hard place I have been in this past year, and I trust I will find my way out of this hard isolation I have been in - BECAUSE of the 8 years I have seen the healing happening within.

I wont' lie, there are days I struggle hard with not knowing if I will ever move out of this hard place that I have been in this past year, but looking back at all the hard roads I have conquered and overcome - I know I will move out of it. I trust I will move out of it.

It's true what they say, healing is not an overnight process, it's not a destination, there is no time frame for healing - it's a change within that happens along side of the healing.

Healing is not just made up of  a therapy room with me and my therapist.. healing is about everyone coming together. It's therapy, me, my therapist, God, connection, my family, my friends, and those who surround me with love, support and connection. Healing is made up of all those things.

Patience and trust are the 2 things I carry with me every day in this process... not always easy, but needed in order to move forward.

I am blessed for these past 8 years and for my therapist who has walked this journey with me..  and I will continue to look forward as I heal, without a time frame or expectation in mind, but rather knowing I am becoming the person I was intended to be - who God intended me to be.