We are sitting here in the midst of Easter, holy week, a week that holds so many blessings, a remembrance for what God has done for the very blessings we have. Sometimes life moves us away from seeing the many blessings that we do have. We get busy, life gets in the way. We sometimes forget that those blessings are what lights our way in the darker times of our days.
Even in the harder times I have gone through in the past couple of years around this isolation, I have never forgotten the blessings that I am surrounded by.
Sometimes it takes sitting and really looking at those blessings that help light the path along the journey we are on every day.
Tonight as I sit here, I can name many things I am angry about, frustrated about, feel sad about, and how much I want to move fully out of this hard place I have been in, but what is more challenging is looking past the darkness and pointing out the light of blessings that I do have.
I am blessed for GOD who recently reminded me of just how worthy and loved I am by those around me. When God saw how hard of a time I was going through, he made sure to carry me through the day to show me just how loved I am and how he watches over me every day.
I am blessed for my wonderful husband of 24 years and the amazing boys I have that really make my life complete. Without them, I could not be the person I am today.
I am blessed for this healing journey I have been on for 8 years, and even though it's the hardest work I have ever done in my life, it sets the path to each road I have taken thus far. I have an amazing therapist who has stood by me through so many dark moments, and always held a light next to me to remind me "hey this is who I see, you may not see it, but I see you" and helped me through each step on this journey.
I am blessed for my friends, those who truly know me and the struggles and still love me no matter what.
I am blessed for all my blog friends who I have become friends with and really gotten to know ... to many to name, but you know who you are. I am truly blessed for your connection and your friendship in doing what we love to do - write!
I am blessed for the light and the stars that leads us to the many things we cannot find in the darkness.
I am blessed that this year I have made many good good steps out of these dark places and I am beginning to see more light.
I am blessed for the ability to sit here and write why I am blessed, and look back on this and know, that even thought I can name 20+ reasons why I am sad, angry, or frustrated ... there are 20 better things I am blessed for .. no it doesn't take away the hard, it just makes the dark a little less dark, and sheds lights in all the places we need to see.
My therapist said something today that I haven't been able to stop thinking about ... he said "every time we work together, I look for the cracks in the darkness you hold, and I hold that hope to help find ways for you to move out of this hard isolation you have been in" ... THAT is truly a blessing to know that someone is willing to see the dark you hold, and still have hope there are cracks in that darkness waiting to shine!
So if I take all the things that are hard and all the things I am blessed for, and put them together, I have a hard but good path that I continue to walk, and know that when it gets dark or hard, there will always be light if I choose to look for it.