Monday I awoke the feeling of sadness, unworthiness, and feeling not good about myself! I felt horrible inside - not good enough. This has been a struggle for me off and on for the past year, it has been a part of the work in therapy for the past couple of months now.
I went into therapy that morning and opened up to my therapist about not feeling good enough! He understands this struggle as I have been struggling with it for quite some time now.
These feelings filled the room Monday morning and the room was quiet as I silently prayed to God to give me some strength through the day.
GOD SHOWED UP - every step of the way throughout the day. It was hair-raising!
It began when I went to the store and this woman complimented me on the shirt I had one, and I thanked her and smiled.
I then got a message from someone that was filled with beautiful words of understanding and I wondered where that came from.
I then went to the craft store and this little girl who was about 7 or 8 years old was standing next to me and she said "you are so pretty" .. I blushed because it came out of no where as her mom sweetly smiled at her daughters outward-ness towards me.
I then check my facebook and I got this sweet sweet message on my wall from a woman named Helen that was just touching to the soul.. saying how I have helped her and what a good person I am..
I stopped for a moment and I said "ok God, I see what your doing, thank you" ...
and it didn't s top there ... I got more compliments through the day and I began feeling m hair raise on my arms at the thought that God is telling me "you are worthy Karen, I want you to see that".
I began to see all these series of events happening through the day and I was reminded by my therapist that God speaks to us through others, and it wasn't until today that I REALLY saw that..
Today I logged onto my Facebook and saw a message that I didn't see Monday, and it was around 2pm (the same time I was getting all those other wonderful messages from all sorts of people, and she left me the most heart warming message and it was that moment I realized GOD truly was showing me something Monday ... and today was a reminder that he was there, walking along side of me in my unworthiness all day to show me what I was and what I wasn't.
God given strength is what showed up Monday and even right now as I write this. God see's our pain and finds ways to relay messages of hope to us, and I truly believe that even more so today. I am touched that God chose to walk with me on a day I felt so lonely and unworthy to show me what I needed to see
... how I feel are just feelings and the truth is, I am worthy of being and belonging!
Thank you God for walking with me not only Monday in the hardest of days, but everyday. Thank you to all those who reminded me of who I am in your life and allowing God to speak through you giving me more hope as I take steps out of this hard place I have been in.
I am BEYOND BLESSED.