Have you ever been surrounded by a ton of people and still felt a little lonely? That is how I feel today. My husband left on business today for 4 days, and although I am used to him traveling and he is only going away for 4 days, it still leaves me feeling a little sad when he leaves.
I have my teen boys here to fill my days, my oldest son who lives downstairs is is home outside of work, I have support all around me, friends who are just a text away, and a therapist who is always in connection with me reminding me of the goodness and hope all around me - but yet today is one of those days.
Its funny how there are days we are so filled with schedule that we don't even have time to go the bathroom or get a drink, and yet we still manage to feel alone sometimes. I often wonder what that alone feeling means?
is it a void of something not be fulfilled? or maybe it's something inside of us that has nothing to do with not having someone around.
I notice I sometimes feel this way when I have a lot on my mind and have no where to place it - and yet I have a blog that can hold endless thoughts. But maybe it's something bigger than just feeling alone ... maybes it misplaced emotions?
That's the beauty of this healing path I am on, I am learning what all these little things are and what they mean.
Although my husband is on a trip, and my boys have a busy life, and friends scatter with their own lives, the one thing I do know is, I am not alone, far from alone, I have amazing people around me, amazing support, a place where I go and heal and talk about those soft tender spots that need healing, and the best part - I have GOD who never leaves my side. We are never truly alone.
So as I sit here writing this, I feel a little less alone than I did just a half hour ago. I will miss my husband for these 4 days he will be gone, but I will thrive in all the things that around me. I will lean into connection, write, pray, be a mom, and just BE and have some me time.
Have you ever been surrounded by so much grace and still felt alone at time? In writing that, I am sure I am not alone.