31 days of reflection {day 5} looking forward

edad7f6f8e9f9f460b47c7ffe83c0f44This is one of my favorite quotes "turn your face to the sun, and the shadows will fall behind you" That quote holds so much meaning; especially at a time like now.Especially after a great connection Friday and over the weekend - I am ready for the week ahead.

I have decided to take a step back into the gym this week; the same gym that I trained in years ago when I lost all that weight and got healthy and fit.

I have been away from the gym for over a year now, since I began having some health issues and since I emotionally have been isolated from all the things I love to do.

I am going to make this week about looking forward and letting the shadows fall behind me, no matter how tempting it will be to look back on what feels safe.

Sometimes it's hard to step out of the comfort place we put ourselves in when we are going through something hard. The gym used to my sanctuary before I faces some very hard things the past 2 years. I lived, breathed and slept the gym and working out, so taking this step this week to step back in the place that really made me whole physically is going to be a huge challenge forward.

There are also some things I am working hard on emotionally in sessions, on my healing path, and I am excited to see where this week brings me. My hope its filled with more connection, more accepting, more open to take scary big steps right in the middle of the vulnerability - where the healing happens - right in the middle of life's challenges!

I sometimes fear taking steps forward. Steps forward feel vulnerable to what we are comfortable with in the hardness, yes in the hardness we do find comfort - not the comfort we want, but the comfort we know. I am afraid sometimes to take a step out of this year long isolation, because I am afraid that I will get hurt right in the middle of taking those steps, and then what? I don't know if I can take another hit at my already vulnerable soft self.

So, with that being said, this week is going to be about taking one step at a time each day as it comes. I am sitting here Monday morning in front of my therapists office as I have session at 10am, and I am finishing up my blog that should have been posted yesterday.

I will walk in and share my steps that I would like to make forward with him... be open and true and accept the support through the week. That is my plan.. to take one small step back into the life I once knew before it got really hard.

What gives me hope is that, I can sit here and share this and know I am supported. Thank you for listening.