Every once in a while I get to this place where I need to sit and have a "self dialog" and those moments are emotional and powerful for me. A "self dialog" is when I get into a quiet place and write down anywhere from 10-15 questions that I am struggling with inside.
"Self Dialog" is having a conversation with self and really getting in touch with the inner self.
I will ask myself some of the hardest questions that I don't know the answers to, but by having this "self dialog" I am forcing myself to get in touch with these answers and stay with them until I have an answer.
I have done this only a couple of times because its emotionally draining, but the times that I have done this I have really broke through and found answers that I didn't even think were there.
I did this last night and it ended up being so big that I had woken up with tears; like I woke something up that was there needing to be woken up.
I wrote down some of the hardest questions that I really struggle to understand, and I made myself sit with these questions until I had an answer and some of them were really hard, but it brought clarity and understanding to some of the things that I have been struggling with.
It was tearful, but rewarding to know the answers to some of the things I struggle with inside. I found some answers that I really didn't see before and it helped me to take another step out of the isolation I feel I have been in.
Today is Thursday and my therapist and I are "RE-DOING" our T T session, our 2 hour session we normally have on Tuesdays. Tuesday didn't turn out to be a great session s something else got in the way of what was intended for that session and we both got excited about doing a "re-do" ... for me and for the worthiness of that time that is helpful for me.
Today is going to be a great day to share this self dialog with my therapist and sit with him and really share the struggles that I didn't even know existed! I am excited about this, because it really answers a lot of the questions I struggled with about myself and where I am.
My therapist and I are really good about doing work like this. When I bring something like this in, its a connection, its a huge affirmation to where I am and where I want to put focus and where I need support.
Looking over this self dialog is also painful because I really see at what my struggled thoughts have been and that can be both sad and heart breaking that I feel the way I do about things, and then it can be rewarding because I see what needs healing.
Having a self dialog is actually a relieving of anything that is stuck inside and helps it to move other things around, and I look forward to seeing how this shifts and what it will shift and move, and how I will use this as a continued path to healing.