five minute friday {mess}

278024_441388179215763_827778536_o Welcome to Five Minute Friday to where us bloggers are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours. Set the timer and write away! Stop at the 5 minute mark no matter where you are!

Today’s Five minute Friday word is {MESS}

{Start}

When I saw that the Five minute Friday word was MESS, the first thing that came to my mind was a quote by a writer name Jeff Goins and that quote is:

"change always happens when you come down from the clouds & deal with the messiness of life".

That is such a strong and true quote!

Right now I am struggling with connection, and maybe in order to get reconnected to self and those around me, I need to dive right into the messiness of what is causing me disconnection.

Maybe the answer is found in sitting right in the middle of the mess instead of trying to run from it or hide from the disconnection that has found me. Maybe it's here for a reason.

Sometimes I just want to isolate into a small ball and just wait for the storm of disconnection to pass - but maybe its not about getting small, maybe I can get big in disconnection.

When you run from a dog, it's first instinct is to chase you because your showing fear and running from something, but if you slow down, breathe, and walk along side of the feelings that are here -  the dog is more likely to walk along side of you instead of chasing you.

I think connection is the same thing! We fight against our feelings and emotions so much that it chases us down and wears us thin to the point of "becoming" the disconnection instead of working with it and understanding it.

I think that is what the past week has been for me. I am trying so hard to NOT be disconnected that I am not paying attention to what is causing me to feel disconnected. I am allowing the disconnection to disconnect me.

So, I am going to hold this quote today and come down from the clouds of isolation and disconnection and face what is here, and why its here, and maybe instead of being chased by the dog, I can walk along side of my disconnection giving it less power over me, so that I can connect back to self and those around me who love and care for me.

Its hard when the weight of the past and the old messages tell me "you need to run and hide"... but a part of this process is about changing those messages and saying "NO, I am not going to isolate and get small, I am going to get big right in the middle of the mess!"

My therapist and I work incredibly hard on connection - connection has been the CORE of our work in therapy, and at the same time, there are times when I struggle and become disconnected, but I think if I really start to understand where the disconnection comes from, than maybe the next time this happens, I can breathe and walk through it knowing that the fight back is about being IN it, and not trying to run away or out of it.

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