We were talking about this past week and the hard work we have done, and this quote just fit.
"light is the enemy of darkness"
I love it! I have heard similar quotes from the bible about light and darkness, but I really liked the way he put it, and the reason behind why he was saying it.
When we give light to something dark, it can't survive.
When we let something be known that is sitting in the dark parts of our soul and mind; we are finding empowerment and giving ourselves light to be seen.
The past couple of weeks I have been working incredibly hard with my therapist in continuing to talk about things that really sat in the dark for over a year and 8 months.
Now that the darkness has been shed with more light, there are things to look at closer; things that I wasn't able to see before when it was so hidden and buried in the dark.
I gave those things voice, and now these things can be seen, felt, and understood; all of which couldn't be done in the dark.
Have you ever walked around a dark room before, and you tried to find your way around by touching things, but you had no idea what it was, or where you were in the room, and then that moment you turn the light on, everything becomes in focus and clear and you see the things you couldn't see before? Well.. that is how this past week has been for me; seeing things that were there, but not seeing things for what they really were.
When something sits in the darkness, there is no understanding. it's just there with no meaning and it can be scary and unknown. There is no answer or connection to anything in the dark.
It's like the difference between my closet where I hid as a child when I was scared vs. the sunspots I laid in when I had the courage to be seen. Laying in the sunspots as a child there was hope. Sitting in the closet hiding from my abusers was the dark hard scary moments.
So I spent the morning reading more about darkness and Light and I saw another quote and I loved the idea of it.
“There's always light after the dark. You have to go through that dark place to get to it, but it's there, waiting for you. It's like riding on a train through a dark tunnel. If you get scared and jump off in the middle of the ride, then you're there, in the tunnel, stuck in the dark. You have to ride the train all the way to the end of the ride to see the light.”
One of the things that I realize in this lightness is that now that I can see it, it's something I have to face and work through. There is a blessing and a curse to see light from dark. The blessing is "I see everything".. the curse is "I can see everything".
I guess we can't heal what we can't see, and that is what I am working hard towards; healing the things that were once in the dark.
It's hard work, painful work, but like my therapist always says "there is another side of this".
I believe that, because everyday, even though this is hard, I feel something is shifting and that is good... there is light in that and I can see and so can't others who support and love me.